Release date 11/11/2004

I Wish I'd Said That

Ned Sherrin's latest miscellany of wit, I Wish I'd Said That*, is due to be published on 11 November 2004 by Oxford University Press, a vintage collection of over 1000 quips and quotes.

The famous, the obscure, and the outrageous offer their impromptu wit on any subject from acting to parties, from marriage to the weather. Classic Wodehouse asides rub shoulders with Wilde, Twain, and Coward. New recruits include Dick Vosburgh's inspired wordplay: 'What have you been doing in my absinthe?' Bill Clinton cohabits with Keith Richards on drugs; Nigella Lawson and Jamie Oliver inadvertently earn themselves a place as do Donald Rumsfeld and David Beckham. Ricky Gervais and Jo Brand, you might expect to hear from!

Wit may come from the sharpest of tongues: 'There is no possibility of being witty without a little ill-nature' (Sheridan) or the warmest of hearts. Molière said 'It's an odd job, making decent people laugh' (Bob Monkhouse was aware of the difficulty: 'They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian...They're not laughing now'). But whether your taste is for the satirical, the surreal, or the warmly funny, I Wish I'd Said That will raise a chuckle on the dullest day.

Ned Sherrin says, 'Mark Twain envied Adam who knew when he said a good thing that he was the first to say it. I would like to thank all the contributors to this book who said so many good things before me. '

Biography
I have a good track record with larger-than-life iron ladies. Carol Thatcher, on writing the story of the liner QEII

Cookery
It has nothing to do with frogs' legs. No amphibian is harmed in the making of this dish. Nigella Lawson, explaining toad-in-the-hole to Americans

Sorry, I don't do offal. Jamie Oliver, invited to help improve food in the Westminster kitchens.

Drink
One more drink and I'd have been under the host. Dorothy Parker

Good God! I've never drunk a vintage that starts with a number two before. Nicholas Soames

Economics
I trust Bush with my daughter, but I trust Clinton with my job. Craig Paterson

Friendship
Champagne for my real friends, and real pain for my sham friends. Francis Bacon

God
I expect to see God in a five-button suit. Hardy Amies

We don't do God. Alastair Campbell

Gossip
If you haven't got a good thing to say about anyone come and sit by me. Alice Roosevelt Longworth

History
I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from. Eddie Izzard

Language
You know the trouble with the French, they don't even have a word for entrepreneur. George W Bush

Money
Money - the one thing that keeps us in touch with our children. Gyles Brandreth

Self-Knowledge
You'll never have another boss like me, someone who's basically a chilled-out entertainer. Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant

Speechmaking
I speak with more passion on a full bladder. Enoch Powell

Whales only get killed when they spout. Denis Thatcher

Youth
If you had seen me in my teens you would have bolted for the door without picking up your coat. Joanna Lumley

*In a rare appearance as a 'straight man', Oscar Wilde complimented James Whistler on a quip with the words, 'I wish I'd said that.' Whistler devastatingly replied, 'You will, Oscar, you will.'

Ned Sherrin is presenter of BBC Radio 4's Loose Ends.

Publishes on 11 November 2004, price £9.99 hardback

For more information, or to interview Ned Sherrin, please contact Sarah Kidd on 01865 353911 or email sarah.kidd@oup.com

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