Kuchi wa wazawai no moto

Kuchi wa wazawai no moto.
The mouth is the root of trouble.

Japan's intricate latticework of social rules and points of etiquette can leave the Westerner feeling like a bull in a china shop. But gai-jin (foreigners) are expected to break most of these rules and are usually forgiven. Of course there are one or two that are worth getting right. If you are a guest in a Japanese house you will no doubt feel it appropriate to compliment the host on their house, their excellent photos, their clever children, their ornaments, and anything else you can think of, particularly as your host will most likely have been flattering you like mad ever since you arrived. Flattery is important, but don't go too far. If you give the impression that you really like something then your host will feel obliged to offer it to you... most embarrassing! If you successfully negotiate this tightrope then you will soon be sitting down to dinner (feet carefully tucked away and not pointing at anyone else). A steady stream of beer or saké will accompany the meal, whatever it may contain. Beware! First of all, don't ever help yourself to a drink – wait for someone else to fill your glass. This is easy thanks to the wonderful Japanese custom of filling you up after you have taken only a couple of sips so that your cup is nearly always full. One dangerous side effect of this warm hospitality is that you have no idea how much you have drunk and you can easily stray way past your normal limits, whereupon you are likely to stretch out your legs and tell your host that his outrageously expensive-looking camera, the apple of his eye, is just about the best thing you've ever seen. You won't be invited again. Everything in moderation, as they say!

Ben Hulme-Cross